First of all, I would not nurse. All. Day. Long. For the last six years I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding or both. It's not that I don't love the relationship it builds and all the quiet bonding time. Or that I don't think it's the best(and cheapest) way to feed a baby. But I am tired and I would like to have just one day that I do not have to schedule around the needs of a three-month-old and when he needs to eat. I also wouldn't change one single diaper. Not before I left or when I came back. I have had my fill of diapers to last a lifetime and I have countless more in the foreseeable future.
Second, I would go shopping, just window shopping for the most part. I would go to stores that don't carry groceries and general merchandise so I only had to stop once. I would go to stores where I only want to get one thing out of the whole store. I would go to stores that don't have carts. I would go to stores where I just want to browse and I know on the front end that I will not be buying anything in that store, but it will not be a waste of my time like I would normally consider it to be.
Next, I would get a good book and take myself to lunch and read my book. I would take as long as I wanted and not cut ANYTHING into tiny bites so no one chokes. I might even order dessert or get a coffee and sit in a chair at the shop where I bought it and finish reading my book.
Fourth, and possibly my favorite part of this dream day, I would walk around Hobby Lobby. For hours, without worrying that my kids and husband are getting bored. I wouldn't be concerned about staying away from the glass because someone might break something. I would go through every isle and get everything I need for any project that caught my attention. Especially if this day took place around Christmas time. I could spend hours and hours just with the Christmas sparkles.
Finally, I would round out the day with a pedicure. The good one, not the quick one. I would take in every second, get all the add-ons and then tip the pedicurist very well for taking on such a monumental task!
Once I got home, I would take a deep breath and go to bed early to prepare to go back to my normal crazy-great life.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Potato Number Four- Freewriting
"C" is my Fourth Potato, the baby(so far at least...). When I had my first baby I was shocked that she came equipped with her very own unique set of likes and dislikes, preferences that would develop into her personality. I thought all babies were essentially the same and could be treated that way until they figured out they had choices(much later in life). Each of mine have been so original.
Tiny Mr. "C" is the most easy-going person I've met. He's only three-months-old but those of you that have strong willed or laid back children can all look back and realize they asserted themselves from the very beginning. "C" he's cool as a cucumber. Content to lay back and watch the world, taking it all in. He's cries when he's sleepy and wants to be put down to drift off on his own and that's about it. He's been my most difficult baby to nurse(which is odd because you'd think experience would trump a newborns preferences) because he wants a front row seat to the world. He doesn't want to be covered or turn away for too long because he might miss something.
He's been an easy baby other then that and I thank God daily for it. He knows what we need, when we need it. Having a fourth child has turned my world upside down. Three kids seemed like nothing, still does. But going anywhere with four is near impossible and frequently the only reason I can accomplish anything is "C" is content to lay there and take in his surroundings which allows me enough time to hog-tie the other three so we can grocery shop!
I've really tried to slow down again and take in all the baby stages. Who knows? We're not guaranteed to have another child and what if this is the last time I have a newborn who stays curled in that tiny baby-ball with his little butt sticking out when I pick him up? What if these are the last, first smiles we get? And they are great smiles I tell you! His mouth takes up half of his face when he gets really happy! And he sticks out his little baby tongue and drools everywhere.
It's amazing to see how much he loves his siblings too. I've never seen a baby who is as content laying in his sister's bedroom while his siblings all play around him like this one does. He just enjoys them and almost seems to join in with his smiles and babbling. His sister(my oldest, One Potato) has taken a special liking to him. She would take him everywhere she goes if I allowed it. Most of the time she pretends that she is his mommy and they are going about their everyday lives. I hope she plays this way because it's what she sees, she is such a good pretend mommy and "C" enjoys every second of the attention he gets. He is my joy. What a blessing, Little "C", my Potato Number Four.
Tiny Mr. "C" is the most easy-going person I've met. He's only three-months-old but those of you that have strong willed or laid back children can all look back and realize they asserted themselves from the very beginning. "C" he's cool as a cucumber. Content to lay back and watch the world, taking it all in. He's cries when he's sleepy and wants to be put down to drift off on his own and that's about it. He's been my most difficult baby to nurse(which is odd because you'd think experience would trump a newborns preferences) because he wants a front row seat to the world. He doesn't want to be covered or turn away for too long because he might miss something.
He's been an easy baby other then that and I thank God daily for it. He knows what we need, when we need it. Having a fourth child has turned my world upside down. Three kids seemed like nothing, still does. But going anywhere with four is near impossible and frequently the only reason I can accomplish anything is "C" is content to lay there and take in his surroundings which allows me enough time to hog-tie the other three so we can grocery shop!
I've really tried to slow down again and take in all the baby stages. Who knows? We're not guaranteed to have another child and what if this is the last time I have a newborn who stays curled in that tiny baby-ball with his little butt sticking out when I pick him up? What if these are the last, first smiles we get? And they are great smiles I tell you! His mouth takes up half of his face when he gets really happy! And he sticks out his little baby tongue and drools everywhere.
It's amazing to see how much he loves his siblings too. I've never seen a baby who is as content laying in his sister's bedroom while his siblings all play around him like this one does. He just enjoys them and almost seems to join in with his smiles and babbling. His sister(my oldest, One Potato) has taken a special liking to him. She would take him everywhere she goes if I allowed it. Most of the time she pretends that she is his mommy and they are going about their everyday lives. I hope she plays this way because it's what she sees, she is such a good pretend mommy and "C" enjoys every second of the attention he gets. He is my joy. What a blessing, Little "C", my Potato Number Four.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Three Potato- Freewriting
What can I say about "S"? He's my Three Potato and Mr. Personality. He was unexpected, but not unwanted. A timing surprise but certainly not unintended. He's twenty months younger than my second born and thinks his 20 lb frame can take on his older brother who's twice his size.
I named him what I did because I saw "S" in a dream and knew that baby was him. Even as late as during my labor we were debating names, as my husband wasn't sold on this one. But he was one of those babies that you hear about. When I saw him, I knew who he was, he was the baby from my dream. He was "S". It's funny that I saw him before he was born because he looked nothing like his two older siblings. He was an original and I knew it before we ever met.
This child is a ladies man and he's got the eyelashes to prove it. A total flirt who bats his eyes and winks at girls. He loves being the center of attention and is never too shy to entertain anyone who happens to be watching. I love to see him play with his siblings, he adds his own touch to everything. He would never just go with the flow, he has to make himself known. And he thinks his older brother is super cool. He's always following him around and trying to get in on the games that he's playing. They also fight like crazy sometimes but I guess it wouldn't be normal if he didn't try to insert something of his ideas in the activities. Sometimes he pays dearly for having original ideas but that's what happens when your older brother is twice your size and you pick a fight!
One of my favorite things about him is his love of music. He just turned two but this has been obvious since he was tiny. Sometimes the only way to calm him down was to crank up the Veggitales Lullabies and let the vibrations rock him to sleep. Now it's so fun to see how he reacts to music, it simply moves him. He hears a beat and can't control the movement, he has to dance to the rhythm. He gets his little shoulders bopping and swivels around the room with his diapered bottom. His foot work is pretty impressive for an adult, let alone a toddler. He just lights up when he hears music, even dances to the sound of my bread maker or beats his own rhythm out on anything that will make a good loud noise. I can't wait to see who this kids turns out to be. I know it will be nothing the world has ever seen before, my little "S", my Three Potato.
I named him what I did because I saw "S" in a dream and knew that baby was him. Even as late as during my labor we were debating names, as my husband wasn't sold on this one. But he was one of those babies that you hear about. When I saw him, I knew who he was, he was the baby from my dream. He was "S". It's funny that I saw him before he was born because he looked nothing like his two older siblings. He was an original and I knew it before we ever met.
This child is a ladies man and he's got the eyelashes to prove it. A total flirt who bats his eyes and winks at girls. He loves being the center of attention and is never too shy to entertain anyone who happens to be watching. I love to see him play with his siblings, he adds his own touch to everything. He would never just go with the flow, he has to make himself known. And he thinks his older brother is super cool. He's always following him around and trying to get in on the games that he's playing. They also fight like crazy sometimes but I guess it wouldn't be normal if he didn't try to insert something of his ideas in the activities. Sometimes he pays dearly for having original ideas but that's what happens when your older brother is twice your size and you pick a fight!
One of my favorite things about him is his love of music. He just turned two but this has been obvious since he was tiny. Sometimes the only way to calm him down was to crank up the Veggitales Lullabies and let the vibrations rock him to sleep. Now it's so fun to see how he reacts to music, it simply moves him. He hears a beat and can't control the movement, he has to dance to the rhythm. He gets his little shoulders bopping and swivels around the room with his diapered bottom. His foot work is pretty impressive for an adult, let alone a toddler. He just lights up when he hears music, even dances to the sound of my bread maker or beats his own rhythm out on anything that will make a good loud noise. I can't wait to see who this kids turns out to be. I know it will be nothing the world has ever seen before, my little "S", my Three Potato.
Two Potato- Freewriting
"I" is my second born, Mr. Two Potato. When he was born, only my mom knew that he was a boy. We had and ultrasound done but didn't want to know the baby's sex, my mom couldn't stand the wait so we let the technician write it on a piece of paper and swear my mother to secrecy. She said it was no fun knowing when no one else did.
I was fully expecting a girl and out came little "I" just 14 months after our first. He was born in the water at my midwife's house and was precious in every way. On our way home later that day, he stopped breathing and turned blue. I had just given birth so when we stopped to get a drink on our way home I stayed in the car, so I was alone with him when it happened. I was so afraid. I called my midwife and she calmly led me through exactly what to do. Twenty seconds later he was breathing just fine and sleeping like nothing had happened. That was the longest minute of my life and a defining moment for us. I try to treasure every moment with him because it reminds me I almost didn't get them at all.
He was a very easy baby to handle most of the time. Joyful is an understatement! His precious little eyes smile right along with his mouth to this day. They go all half mooned when he breaks out laughing! He's a heart breaker.
Being a middle child myself I've tried to make it a priority to include him in things, just in life in general. I don't ever want him to feel lost in the middle like I did most of the time growing up. He has so much to offer and is such a neat kid. He's smart in a down-low kind of way. He knows things that you'd never suspect and he won't reveal that he knows it until he's ready. He's shy in public, but smiley as always. His passion run just as deep when he's upset as it does when he's happy. That boy has a temper. But he's so sweet, most of the time you'd never know it.
He's my cuddler. I was amazed after having a girl the first time around at how adventurous he was! He was all over the place but he would always come back to cuddle. Crawling off of things and exploring every little corner, putting everything in his mouth. But there always comes a moment in the middle of playtime when his posture and expression changes, he puts down his toys and comes to sit on my lap. I live for those moments.
He still experiences the world through his mouth though. He is almost four and I got a call from his daycare teacher a few months back, saying he ate a penny. I talked to him about it later and he told me he didn't eat it, he simply put it in his throat. He was convinced of his own logic. I love that kid. Mr. "I", my Two Potato.
I was fully expecting a girl and out came little "I" just 14 months after our first. He was born in the water at my midwife's house and was precious in every way. On our way home later that day, he stopped breathing and turned blue. I had just given birth so when we stopped to get a drink on our way home I stayed in the car, so I was alone with him when it happened. I was so afraid. I called my midwife and she calmly led me through exactly what to do. Twenty seconds later he was breathing just fine and sleeping like nothing had happened. That was the longest minute of my life and a defining moment for us. I try to treasure every moment with him because it reminds me I almost didn't get them at all.
He was a very easy baby to handle most of the time. Joyful is an understatement! His precious little eyes smile right along with his mouth to this day. They go all half mooned when he breaks out laughing! He's a heart breaker.
Being a middle child myself I've tried to make it a priority to include him in things, just in life in general. I don't ever want him to feel lost in the middle like I did most of the time growing up. He has so much to offer and is such a neat kid. He's smart in a down-low kind of way. He knows things that you'd never suspect and he won't reveal that he knows it until he's ready. He's shy in public, but smiley as always. His passion run just as deep when he's upset as it does when he's happy. That boy has a temper. But he's so sweet, most of the time you'd never know it.
He's my cuddler. I was amazed after having a girl the first time around at how adventurous he was! He was all over the place but he would always come back to cuddle. Crawling off of things and exploring every little corner, putting everything in his mouth. But there always comes a moment in the middle of playtime when his posture and expression changes, he puts down his toys and comes to sit on my lap. I live for those moments.
He still experiences the world through his mouth though. He is almost four and I got a call from his daycare teacher a few months back, saying he ate a penny. I talked to him about it later and he told me he didn't eat it, he simply put it in his throat. He was convinced of his own logic. I love that kid. Mr. "I", my Two Potato.
One Potato-Freewriting
A is my first born, my One Potato. She is now five-years-old and so smart. She's beautiful too. She loves to play with her brothers(especially when she gets to be the boss). She loves to laugh and tickle and get tickled. She is very funny, says the most insightful things sometimes.
She amazes me daily with the questions she asks. She has three younger brothers, so she's not unfamiliar with pregnancy and birth. I suppose doing things the way we do and having the attitude that they are just normal parts of life probably contribute to her curiosity regarding these subjects. When she was almost four she asked me "where do babies come from?" I started the typically vague answer of "when a mommy and a daddy love each other and get married..." but she was not satisfied with that. She said,"No, I mean how do they get here? How do they get out of their mommies tummy?" Now, I have have friends who have given silly answers about belly buttons and magic and simply "the doctor does it", but my husband and I made a commitment never to lie to our children, so I was faced with a real-time decision of what "not lying" looked like. I told her they come out of their mommy's privates. This answer satisfied her. And a few days later, I was approached by a friend who's daughters now know exactly how babies exit their mothers wombs and that Santa Clause will not be visiting them this year because he is not real...oops. This is just one story of how particular she is.
When she was tiny, just over a year old, she had the best vocabulary I've ever heard from a child that young. I'd like to take credit and say it's because we did everything right. But it is just due to her being so daring when it comes to her mind. She was never afraid to try and say a word, even a new, hard one. When she was 2-and-a-half, she told me "my esophagus hurts, you know, the inside of my neck". She just amazes me!
It's been so fun to be her mommy, to be a person she looks up to and wants to be like. I hope I don't fail her. Not that I never want to fail because I think it's a valuable lesson to see your parent screw up and then the process of taking responsibility and fixing things. I just don't want to screw her up, you know? She's so great how she is, I don't want to get in there and muck it all up. I want A to just be A, my One Potato.
She amazes me daily with the questions she asks. She has three younger brothers, so she's not unfamiliar with pregnancy and birth. I suppose doing things the way we do and having the attitude that they are just normal parts of life probably contribute to her curiosity regarding these subjects. When she was almost four she asked me "where do babies come from?" I started the typically vague answer of "when a mommy and a daddy love each other and get married..." but she was not satisfied with that. She said,"No, I mean how do they get here? How do they get out of their mommies tummy?" Now, I have have friends who have given silly answers about belly buttons and magic and simply "the doctor does it", but my husband and I made a commitment never to lie to our children, so I was faced with a real-time decision of what "not lying" looked like. I told her they come out of their mommy's privates. This answer satisfied her. And a few days later, I was approached by a friend who's daughters now know exactly how babies exit their mothers wombs and that Santa Clause will not be visiting them this year because he is not real...oops. This is just one story of how particular she is.
When she was tiny, just over a year old, she had the best vocabulary I've ever heard from a child that young. I'd like to take credit and say it's because we did everything right. But it is just due to her being so daring when it comes to her mind. She was never afraid to try and say a word, even a new, hard one. When she was 2-and-a-half, she told me "my esophagus hurts, you know, the inside of my neck". She just amazes me!
It's been so fun to be her mommy, to be a person she looks up to and wants to be like. I hope I don't fail her. Not that I never want to fail because I think it's a valuable lesson to see your parent screw up and then the process of taking responsibility and fixing things. I just don't want to screw her up, you know? She's so great how she is, I don't want to get in there and muck it all up. I want A to just be A, my One Potato.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
When I'm the Problem Now- Freewriting
This post is a follow up to a previous post...
I like to think that I am not the problem. I didn't start out to be the problem so how could I be the problem now? When did I become the 'bad guy'? I thought all I was doing was reacting to what he did. I guess I kind of convinced myself that's what I was doing.
Suddenly I had specific requirements and goals that had to be met. 'Suddenly' is probably the wrong word; gradually is a better description. I gradually convinced myself there was no other way but mine to do things. I slowly and gradually convinced those around me that I was right. Maybe I actually was right at one point. I think that I started off with the right intentions of wanting to fix things. But the more I talked about it and mulled it over the more I thought I needed a set of rules to fix things. Not rules for me, mind you, rules for him.
Only for him.
Because he was the problem. His problems were the problem. All I was doing was trying to fix things, right? The longer I allowed myself to believe this, the worse it was. The more convinced I became, the further I went on a road that doesn't usually allow u-turns. And I was taking all my friends with me. I didn't want to be caught without support in that situation, right? But I was still concerned about him. Him having the support he needed for what I was going to do to him.
What do you do when you are the one hurting yourself? Pushing too hard for something you're supposed to want, but just don't.
This one just caught me. In the words of my favorite artist:
"Well everybody's got a story to tell.
And everybody's got a wound to be healed.
I want to believe there's beauty here.
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on.
I can't let go, I can't move on.
I want to believe there's meaning here.
How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this!"?
How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you, God I need you now
Standing on a road I didn't plan.
Wondering how I got to where I am.
I'm trying to hear that still, small voice.
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this!"?
How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you, God I need you now
Though I walk through the shadows
And I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you given me strength?
Oh I need you, God I need you now"
- Tiffany Arbuckle Lee
Plumb(you should definitely YouTube her!)
Sometimes it just takes music...
I like to think that I am not the problem. I didn't start out to be the problem so how could I be the problem now? When did I become the 'bad guy'? I thought all I was doing was reacting to what he did. I guess I kind of convinced myself that's what I was doing.
Suddenly I had specific requirements and goals that had to be met. 'Suddenly' is probably the wrong word; gradually is a better description. I gradually convinced myself there was no other way but mine to do things. I slowly and gradually convinced those around me that I was right. Maybe I actually was right at one point. I think that I started off with the right intentions of wanting to fix things. But the more I talked about it and mulled it over the more I thought I needed a set of rules to fix things. Not rules for me, mind you, rules for him.
Only for him.
Because he was the problem. His problems were the problem. All I was doing was trying to fix things, right? The longer I allowed myself to believe this, the worse it was. The more convinced I became, the further I went on a road that doesn't usually allow u-turns. And I was taking all my friends with me. I didn't want to be caught without support in that situation, right? But I was still concerned about him. Him having the support he needed for what I was going to do to him.
What do you do when you are the one hurting yourself? Pushing too hard for something you're supposed to want, but just don't.
This one just caught me. In the words of my favorite artist:
"Well everybody's got a story to tell.
And everybody's got a wound to be healed.
I want to believe there's beauty here.
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on.
I can't let go, I can't move on.
I want to believe there's meaning here.
How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this!"?
How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you, God I need you now
Standing on a road I didn't plan.
Wondering how I got to where I am.
I'm trying to hear that still, small voice.
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this!"?
How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you, God I need you now
Though I walk through the shadows
And I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you given me strength?
Oh I need you, God I need you now"
- Tiffany Arbuckle Lee
Plumb(you should definitely YouTube her!)
Sometimes it just takes music...
Make a list of things that are 6 inches long- Freewriting
Hmm...
1. Hot dogs( is that two words or one?)
2. pencils that have been sharpened
3. Ball jars
4. this is harder than I thought it would be
5. kids tooth brushes
6. my hair cutting shears
7. small chef's knife
8. bingo dobbers
9. my crochet hooks
10. 3 of the 7 candles on my mantle
11. VHS tapes
12. the dandelions in the yard we mowed yesterday
13. most pregnancy tests(wow, that one was weird!)
14.
OK seriously, this list is extremely hard, the hardest I've done yet! I find myself pausing to think after every item on the list. I don't think that's actually considered freewriting since I'm supposed to write without stopping...
14. Redken Iron Guard
15. My Happy perfume bottle
16. the middle of my face(yes, I just did a rough measurement)
17. the 32oz Mega Wave cup sitting beside me
18. my 2-year-olds' forearm
19. the basil plants on my porch(see previous post on this subject...)
20. my 3-month-olds' diapers<3
21. most sippy cups
22. the long hand on my clock
23.
This list was ridiculously hard! I'm sorry to anyone who reads it! But I hope you enjoyed it's complete randomness!!
1. Hot dogs( is that two words or one?)
2. pencils that have been sharpened
3. Ball jars
4. this is harder than I thought it would be
5. kids tooth brushes
6. my hair cutting shears
7. small chef's knife
8. bingo dobbers
9. my crochet hooks
10. 3 of the 7 candles on my mantle
11. VHS tapes
12. the dandelions in the yard we mowed yesterday
13. most pregnancy tests(wow, that one was weird!)
14.
OK seriously, this list is extremely hard, the hardest I've done yet! I find myself pausing to think after every item on the list. I don't think that's actually considered freewriting since I'm supposed to write without stopping...
14. Redken Iron Guard
15. My Happy perfume bottle
16. the middle of my face(yes, I just did a rough measurement)
17. the 32oz Mega Wave cup sitting beside me
18. my 2-year-olds' forearm
19. the basil plants on my porch(see previous post on this subject...)
20. my 3-month-olds' diapers<3
21. most sippy cups
22. the long hand on my clock
23.
This list was ridiculously hard! I'm sorry to anyone who reads it! But I hope you enjoyed it's complete randomness!!
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