Choosing Home Birth-Freewriting

I'm not really sure when the decision was made. It's almost as if the decision was already there, already decided upon and then I happened by. 

Six weeks after I got married, I suspected I was pregnant. Actually I didn't suspect it, I knew it, I just wanted to know it, know it. You know? I took a test and it was positive. We didn't know what else to do other than call a good OB/GYN we had heard of and make an appointment, like everyone else did. A few weeks later we completed an uncomfortable appointment, with an even more uncomfortable doctor. Uncomfortable is the only word for it really. You see, I went to a female doctor for that very reason, because she is a female. It's no guarantee, but it's at least more likely that she's given birth than if we had chosen a man... because a male doctor definitely hasn't given birth himself :-). 

When we arrived for the appointment it was basically uneventful until the doctor tried to enter the office with a man trailing behind her with no introduction. My husband asked who he was and why he was there and we were informed that he was a student and he would be sitting in on our appointment that day. We requested he leave and explained why we had chosen a female physician. She was none too happy about that but conceded to our wishes. 

Shortly after that day we decided we would not go back, which was good because we received a letter from the office stating they would not see me during my pregnancy because they could not guarantee no males would be involved with the pregnancy and delivery. 

I waited a few weeks to make any other plans, which happens to go along with my general pregnancy philosophy anyway; pregnancy and birth are a normal part of life and do not typically require medical attention or monitoring. I found a friend, an acquaintance really who shared my thoughts on the matter and I inquired who she had used as a midwife. I waited another couple of weeks and called the number she had given me. A friendly voice answered the phone and we chatted a bit. She asked what my feelings were on all of this and I told her my story up to that point, being sure to add that I had always been adverse to the idea of pain medication in labor and planned to breastfeed my baby. She felt we might be a pretty good match so we continued the conversation with her telling me a bit about her practice. 

She had been a midwife for over 20 years and was committed to the health and well-being of both mother and baby. She elaborated on the prenatal care schedule she uses and what I could expect in the coming weeks. And then she said it...home birth. Um, what was that you said? Home birth? You mean like in the 1700's? Thank you for your time, I will call if I have any further questions...

Obviously I had no intention of calling her back. She was a crazy person and could be written off as such. I went on to look at my other options... Hospital birth- tests, epidural, spinal block, electronic fetal monitoring, sedentary labor, induction, intervention...What was I thinking? This stuff was not me!

I began to read as much as I could on home birth and the statistics surrounding labor in western society. Maternal and infant death rates. C-Section rates. Consequences of induction and epidurals. vs Birth in your home environment where you are most comfortable. A birth attendant that has turned into a friend and walks with you through each step of labor and birth. Freedom to move and eat, talk and use whatever position gets you through each contraction. 

By comparison, there wasn't even a question. I felt it deep down inside of me. I wanted, needed to birth my baby into the freedom and love of my own home. The decision was there all along, I just had to find it.